When leaves fall they do not shake in their boots.
When trees are bare they do not cower in fear.
They have faith in the process,
faith in everything serving a purpose.
It was the week before Labor Day weekend and I was visiting my cousins in Staten Island. We were celebrating my cousin’s birthday with wonderful friends. The summer season was winding down. The kids (and adults) were enjoying the pool, gathering every last drop they could before the breeze would signify a change was coming.
The sounds of conversations transitioning from English to Spanish and back flowed in between the sips of beer and bites of bar-b-que. I shared with everyone my interest in visiting Arizona and my intention of leaving the east coast for a new view. I had been feeling a pull to go there over the previous few months so my plan was to visit sometime in October. After leaving my cousin’s that evening I was at a stop light and right in front of me was a KIA SEDONA. I chuckled to myself while Willie Colon was playing in the background.
When I arrived home there was a message on my phone from a friend who lives in Sedona, Arizona. In her message she expressed she heard I was thinking of visiting and thought I should definitely come out, especially because there was a men’s retreat, put on by a couple of friends, in two weeks. If it aligned, I could do the retreat then stick around for a while. I smiled broadly and was in awe of what was being shown to me in a matter of hours.
Of course, my ego kicked into high gear:
“How can we do that?”
“We have to think about this.”
“We have to figure out how to get there in two weeks.”
Every single excuse and reason not to go came up within me. The battle between my ego and my heart consumed me. My heart was winning but I still had doubts. I talked it out with a friend and after explaining everything that had occurred a few days prior and the months leading up to this moment, he simply said: “So, when are you leaving?”
I said, “I guess I’m leaving this weekend.”
I couldn’t ignore the signs being shown to me and I had to honor spirit. I packed a bag, jumped in my car and started driving west Labor Day weekend.
Along the way I had support from family and friends with places to stay until I reached Sedona. As soon as I entered Arizona it started to rain, which is not a very common occurrence. I took it as a sign of cleansing my path forward as I embarked on this new journey that was waiting for me. I arrived in Sedona and the views were breathtaking. A feeling of home came over me instantly. I was allowing myself to feel what my spirit was needing and wanting. I explored the beauty of the red rocks and, more importantly, I was allowing myself to be with life and the unfolding of it. I was starting to feel empowered in who I am.
The weekend of the men’s retreat arrived and I let go of any expectation of what was to come. Life continued to surprise me as I connected with a great group of men who were on similar paths. The weekend crystallized for me the power I had within me and I felt at home with myself. I felt a connection to many of them and how I would be working with them in some capacity. I was in a state of knowingness and flow.
After my time in Sedona, I went down to the Tempe/Phoenix area to explore and since most of the men I met lived in that area it was a perfect time to connect with them even more. The sense of home kept solidifying itself within me.
I started to map my route back to NY at the end of the month. I knew exactly when I was leaving and how long I would take along the way to get back. I was beyond satisfied and overjoyed with my experience and knew I would be back to Arizona. Then my phone rang.
It was the very friend who left me a message that Sunday night when I was at my cousin’s, inviting me to Sedona. She explained her and her business partner were being called to Tulum, Mexico. She proposed two invitations: either stay in Sedona for longer at their place since they wouldn’t be there or go to Tulum with them.
A big smile came over my face. It was again the feeling of awe at how life was unfolding. As the conversation went on, I was in a space of gratitude for what I was receiving. I told her I would have to contemplate it and see if either invitation aligned with what I wanted. The next morning I went to Tempe Lake and meditated, enjoying the morning and sitting with the two invitations. I asked spirit to show me where I should be. I left the lake and drove around for a bit. I’m sitting at a light and I look in front of me. There was a pickup truck with a Mexico license plate. I said yes to Tulum.
There were a couple of details to figure out. One, I didn’t have my passport. Second, I had to find a place to leave my car. I planned on flying back to NY to get my passport. Now what to do with my car.
Prior to leaving Sedona for Tempe, I contacted an old friend who I knew lived in the Phoenix area for some tips on where to stay and things to do. I also mentioned I would love to see her and her family if possible while I’m there. We planned for me to come over to their house for dinner and spend some time catching up. I arrived at their house, mobbed by their lovely dogs. They were intrigued as to why I was in Arizona. I began to tell them the whole story and the many things that unfolded while I was in Arizona, including Tulum. As soon as I mentioned figuring out where to put my car, they, without hesitation, offered to store my car while I was away. They graciously said they would love to do that for me. I was in deep gratitude for everything that was showing up effortlessly as I needed it.
I fly back east and as soon as I leave JFK airport, I can sense the stark contrast between who I am and the city I’ve called home my entire life. I was well aware this place is no longer in alignment with what I want. I’m in NY for a couple of days and all of a sudden I start to feel an overwhelm of fear. I’m looking for a place to stay in Tulum but I’m over analyzing and over thinking everything, leaving me in this place of indecisiveness. I prayed and meditated on it. The next day I’m still feeling the same way. I decided to get the energy out and go for a run. I’m on my run and realize I have all of the love and support I need within and without. There are people everywhere who are willing to love and support me no matter my choices. And I have spirit who supports and loves me. It has been proving it to me over and over again these last few weeks. This was certainly a test for me to endure because it’s so easy to fall back into what I’ve know myself to be. It was so easy for me to slip back into this realm of over analyzing everything and allowing the mind to lead the way. It was easy to slip back in without awareness. I was incredibly uncomfortable in the moment because my heart experienced something more aligned with who I am but my ego held onto “nah, we like it here, where it’s safe and we’re protected. Where we can plan and analyze and make a move when everything is presented”.
“That’s not living”, I thought.
The living is in the step by step, in the faith that what we need will show up when we need it. Does it take intention? Absolutely. Does it take awareness and understanding of what you want? Yes. All of this doesn’t appear without putting in energy. We must be mindful and clear about what we want. And when it does come, we have a clear knowing in our hearts that it is in alignment with who we are.
I’ve come to realize faith and trust is incredibly important. When we receive life signs and we are in conversation with spirit about those life signs, we are able to move closer to what our purpose is. If we ignore the advice given by spirit then we delay what we are meant to have because we’ve expressed we weren’t ready for it. We’re not acting on faith. We’re choosing to not have the conversation behind these signs. We’re choosing to ignore the subtext. And so, we will always be behind because we are waiting for material proof before we begin to experience it. As opposed to being able to have a vision about it, have faith and trust, and meet the experience at the place we’re meant to before anything even materializes. When we are centered in who we are and can listen to where our instincts and intuition want to take us then we can understand the steps. We can have faith in the journey and enjoy the surprises around every corner. Even if something is perceived as a mistake, we will be guided through it, get what we need in order to move forward and live our best life. It takes faith, trust and a letting go that allows room for the magic to appear in our lives. I’ve learned this is absolute law.
© David Medina